NaPoWriMo 6: Emotional Distrust

So no one trusts me.
See if I care.
[I do.]
My word is as worthless as a penny these days.
I'm a walking contradiction.
I say one thing and supposedly do another.
Can I even trust myself?
How am I expected to know?
I can't even believe my own memories.
My eyes are wells.
Both hands are shaking now, in rhythm with my sobs.
It wasn't always like this.
I was buried under layers of sunshine.
And I've emerged.
Not my true self, no.
But the things they call emotions.

a.d. (don't trust myself)